I have had acne for what seems like my entire life, I am pretty sure my first acne cream was prescribed to me when I was like nine because I was so self conscious about going to school with pimples on my face. Looking back I am sure I had one tiny red dot but for me that felt like a death sentence. I have tried every thing under the sun to rid myself of my spots. Literally everything. I have been on every prescription topical, I have tried every face mask, every serum, done all the facials, yet my face is still covered in spots. I have cut things from my diet, I have switched my makeup, my shampoo, my laundry detergents, I have made my life revolve around my acne. I sleep, eat, and breathe acne, its on my mind all the time. When I wake up in the morning I can sense the new pimples that have popped up over night, without ever placing a finger on my face. When I take a bite of one of my favorite foods all I can think about is the fact that I will probably have six new pimples within the week. I am constantly hunting for a Snapchat filter to hide my pimples or creating new hand poses to strategically cover my blemishes and its honestly getting old. How many times can a girl cry over a little red dot on her face. The answer is a lot, I have cried and sobbed and cried again over nothing more than my acne.
My new years resolution was to make peace with my skin, I assumed that my skin would miraculously clear up and that this would be a piece of cake. It is three months into 2017 and my skin still sucks. I am going to start taking steps to making peace with my skin with or without acne starting now.
My mom always tells me that my acne is temporary which deep down I know is true but when you can't remember not having acne it is hard to see it that way. In my mind it feels pretty permanent. But I have slowly come to realize while I am always covered in spots, those spots are ever changing, there is nothing permanent about that. Each day you wake up its like having a different night sky across your face, with new constellations each day. I always loved my freckles, so why should my pimples make me cringe, in reality they aren't much different, just little inflamed freckles.
I honestly probably will never stop editing my pimples out of my photos, or choosing to cover them up with layers of concealer. Although I don't have to hate my pimples I know that I will never love them, and that is okay. The only thing I am looking to do is to create an inner peace with my acne, but if anyone has a remedy to zap my zits away in an instant. Hit me up.
XO
